


BLACK

by Lostideas



Series: Stripper AU [2]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Ashton's family is partly made up in this, Bartender!Calum, Blow Jobs, Cake - Freeform, Explicit Sexual Content, Gender Roles, Hate Crimes, Homophobia, M/M, Mashton - Freeform, Mashton side of the story, Michael helps him, Society Pressure, Stereotypes, Stripper AU, Stripper!Michael, Violence, ashton is confused, bartender!ashton, his dad sucks, stripper!luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-08 00:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6830926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lostideas/pseuds/Lostideas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't you hold back<br/>I can see in your mind, and your mind will set you free</p><p>And I feel you close<br/>Feel you close like you wanted me to</p><p>Or: Ashton has always been told to "man up" and "be a man". His world get's shaken up when he meets a green-haired whirlwind boy who shows him the beauty of letting himself be cared for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

_[THIS](http://i.imgur.com/cdgFi0Q.png)  &  [THIS](http://i.imgur.com/REwGYHk.jpg)_

 

_-_

 

_Don’t hold back  
I can see in your mind, and your mind will set you free_

_And I feel you close  
Feel you close like you wanted me to_

_-_

_‘Ashton!’_

_Loud footsteps make their way up the stairs, making the floor under Ashton’s feet shake. The walls and ceiling are shaking too: dust and gravel falling down in places where the house can’t take the abuse any longer. Ashton barely has time to pull his jeans back up his legs, let alone put on a t-shirt._

_He was standing in front of his body-long mirror, inspecting the damage._

_Ashton turns around as the door to his room gets slammed open. A tall, broad figure takes up the entire doorframe as he stands there, looking at Ashton like a bull ready to attack him. He can hardly make out the man’s facial features because of the bright lights coming from behind him, but he’s pretty sure it’s his father._

_‘Ashton!’ His loud voice thunders through the room like dynamite, more dust and pieces of ceiling coming down because of it. Yeah, definitely his father._

_‘Is it true what Harry just told me?!’_

_Ashton never stood a chance. He was cornered in the locker room by three disgusting guys from a higher grade who called him names and screamed at him until he cried and slid down against the wall, wrapping his arms around his own trembling body. They pulled him away from the wall by his hair and kicked him until he threw up over one of the guys shoe’s. Then some more for good measure._

_The evidence of today’s events is clear on his skin, he can’t even try to lie. He’s supporting a black eye, a cut eyebrow and lower lip, and several bruises and abrasions spread over his face, torso and arms. But the worst part is probably not the physical pain: the worst part would be his father’s reaction._

_‘Dad, I…’_

_‘No excuses! Ashton, you can’t let people walk all over you! You’re a man, aren’t you? Do you think real men let themselves be beat up?!’_

_Ashton hates him. He hates him so, so much._

_‘Real men know how to defend themselves! It’s worse enough you are what you are, but you can’t go around getting your ass kicked! You’re an Irwin for fucks sake!’_

_And Ashton can’t help it. He knows it will only make his dad angrier with him, but after the day he’s had, the yelling is just too much to take. Big tears are streaming down his face, the salty water stinging in his wounds._

_Maybe his father is right, maybe he deserved it. He asked for it by coming out, then let it happen because he knew he couldn’t take the guys. He’s small and skinny, his face chubby with acne patches on his cheeks. Maybe it’s his fault for making himself an easy target._

_When his father spots the tears rolling down his son’s face his facial expression changes into something Ashton has never seen before. He leaves his room, and before Ashton knows it his little brother Harry comes running in._

_‘I’m so sorry I told him Ashton! I thought he would help!’ Harry yells, panic tears rolling down his cheeks. Ashton wants to answer, wants to tell him that it’s alright, but the second he opens his mouth his father is back in the room, pushing Harry aside so roughly the boy trembles and falls, his head hitting the ground hard._

_And Ashton wants to say something about it, he wants to yell, but every possibility of producing sound is suddenly impossible because he can see the sharp pair of scissors shining in his father’s hand._

_‘Today you’re becoming a man.’ He says, his voice colder than ever. ‘Starting with that hair.’_

_Ashton wants to run, but before he can even put one foot before the other his father has grabbed a hand-full of blonde fringe, pulling him back harshly. Ashton hears a snipping sound and…_

 

Suddenly Ashton’s awake. His eyes are wide open, staring at the ceiling of his small room in the apartment he shares with Calum. His heart is racing, he’s panting and he feels sweaty all over. He can barely register his phone ringing obnoxiously, probably what caused him to wake up in the first place.

Without fully registering that it was all just a dream and he’s in the real world now, he grabs his phone from his nightstand. Two shining emerald eyes greed him from the picture on his screen.

‘Michael.’ He chokes out when he picks up. His voice sounds desperate and scared, breaking at the end of the word. He can hear his own rugged breathing, his chest going up and down fast.

‘Ashton? You sound weird, are you okay?’

‘I had a nightmare.’ Ashton almost whispers, suppressing a sob. Panic-tears are rolling down his cheeks and he feels like he might throw up.

‘Stay where you are, I’m coming over.’

 

-

 

‘So that’s never happened before?’ Michael asks him as they’re sitting at the dining table behind the creamy white couch, both with a cup of coffee. Ashton is in a black tank-top and boxers, Michael’s dressed like he’s about to go out to party with a black snapback backwards on his head and an ACDC t-shirt on.

‘Not like this.’ Ashton mumbles. He’s staring at the coffee Michael made for him while he was in the shower, ridding his skin of the fear-sweat. He isn’t really feeling caffeine right now, his head is still going a hundred miles an hour because of the dream.  ‘I mean, I’ve had some nightmares like this before, but never with my father acting like that.’

‘So… which part of the dream was actually true?’ Michael asks carefully. Ashton hates it. He hates the pity, the feeling of not being able to take care of himself. He especially hates it when Michael does it: he normally gives Ashton such a hard time, and the boy honestly loves that about him.

‘The part about the violence.’ Ashton mumbles anyway. He knows damn well Michael isn’t gonna let this go, no matter how badly Ashton wants him to. It’s his own damn fault for answering the phone like a wuss. ‘I came out two weeks before that, and was kicked the shit out of that day in the locker room because of it. The janitor came and saved me, I’m pretty sure they would’ve killed me if he didn’t because I barfed on one of the asshole’s Jordans. The part about the haircutting is not true though. My dad always told me to man up and that I was “an Irwin” and that shit, but it never got physical. He was just a dick I guess.’

‘You’re taking this quite lightly.’ Michael comments, his eyebrows raised. ‘Those guys assaulted you.’

‘Well what did you expect?’ Ashton reacts, venom in his voice that makes Michael look at him indignantly, eyebrows raised. A short silence follows, Ashton’s words floating in between them for Michael to decide what to do with.

‘Oh, I don’t know, maybe a little more damn emotion?’ He answers then, frowning. His voice is sharp like a knife, cutting into Ashton’s heart. ‘You’re telling me you got assaulted when you were younger and that your dad basically was a dick to you growing up like you’re listing your groceries.’

‘Jesus Michael, you don’t need to baby me you know.’

Ashton really doesn’t want to act like this, really doesn’t want to make Michael upset with him. But he despises the feeling of being weak, and the fact that Michael is trying to get him to show emotion triggers his defence mechanism like crazy. Michael laughs mockingly, standing up from his chair.

‘Wauw, okay, I’ll remember not to come rushing over again when you answer the phone crying about a nightmare. Apparently trying to get some goddamn emotion out of you for a change is “babying you”.’

Ashton feels a blush creep onto his cheeks at the mention of him crying. He feels so embarrassed. ‘What is your problem?’ Ashton asks, frowning and standing up too. Michael looks at him like he’s about to kill him, his hands balled to fists by his sides.

‘Oh I don’t have a problem Ashton. You know what _your_ problem is though? You push away anyone who even tries to get close because you can’t stand the idea of someone helping you. You want to do everything on your own. If you want to keep this superficial that’s fine with me, but just tell me so I don’t have to waste anymore fucking energy on you.’

‘Oh I’m a waste of energy alright!’ Ashton suddenly screams, raising his voice and visibly intimidating Michael. He’s glad Calum’s at work, this whole scène would’ve raised some questions. ‘We’ve been friends for what, three months? What do you expect Michael? Me telling you my whole damn life story and crying like a bitch about it? Well guess what, it was shit, but I’m over it!’

‘If you were really over it you’d talk about it, cause that’s what normal people do!’ Michael shouts back, his voice possibly even louder than Ashton’s.

‘Don’t act like your way is the only right way Michael.’ Ashton spats out. ‘It’s not my fault you like to Doctor Phil the shit out of every conversation.’

‘That’s not even what I’m saying!’ Michael yells. ‘You’re so goddamn stubborn! I was about to ask you out you know, cause the past three months have been pretty fucking great. But I can’t deal with this. You’re a fucking brick wall.’

‘Well I’m sorry I didn’t turn out to be what you expected!’ Ashton screams. Michael sighs and rubs his face, looking tired and emotional.

‘Don’t be like that.’ He says quietly, looking down at his shoes.

‘Like what? This is me Michael. I’m not forcing you to be my friend.’ Ashton growls.

‘This is what you want then?’ Michael asks with a shaking voice, now looking up at Ashton. His green eyes are shining, and for a second Ashton thinks the boy in front of him is about to cry. Those two sad-looking green orbs immediately break down every single piece of anger Ashton has left inside of him. ‘Cause I’ll leave you know. You say you’re not forcing me but I didn’t ask for this either. I just like you.’

‘I don’t _want_ this, you just… I can’t…’ Ashton stumbles. Michael’s intense look makes him loose track of his words and he quickly breaks their eye-contact.

Ashton sighs and bites his lower lip. Michael is staring him down from across the table, but he knows better than to look up at the boy. Those green eyes will make him say things he can’t ever take back.

‘I like you too.’ He mumbles, staring at his feet. ‘But this… I am me. You can’t change me.’

‘I don’t want to change you.’ Michael answers, his voice soft now. ‘I just want to help. Cause sometimes I get the idea you need help.’

There is a long silence between the two of them. It has Ashton thinking about the first time he properly met Michael. The boy had been dancing at the club for at least more than half a year before Ashton had built up the confidence to talk to him (read: couldn’t stand Calum’s salty remarks about him being whipped anymore). Michael had the greenest eyes Ashton had ever seen, and the most vibrant personality. He had walked up to the bar after closing hours, when Ashton was cleaning it, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers and ordered a Bacardi-Cola. Ashton had nervously served him, then nervously declined his offer to go out together the same night. Calum had been cheated on by his boyfriend of almost a year only a few days prior, and Ashton couldn’t just leave him alone for the night.

Michael had named the club and told him to come if he changed his mind before walking off, openly flaunting his body to all the staff. He stopped to dance around with the shot boys to “Rock this party” by Bob Sinclair, one of the club’s favourite after-closing songs to play through the surround sound to get the lasting energy out of the staffs’ system. The way Michael’s hips swayed from side to side had Ashton looking hungrily, but he tried to get it out of his head for now. Calum, who usually partied hard to this song, had his head down and cleaned the bar without socializing. It hurt Ashton to see him like that: Calum was one of the most important people in his life, the only one who he let in, told about his past and allowed to know every single side of him. He saw how much the guy was hurting, and he was hurting because of it. They had met in freshman year of college, and been best friends ever since.

Together they had cleaned the bar quickly, then left the club and headed home. The second they walked in the door Calum went to his room and stayed there. After an hour of walking around and watching some TV without really _watching_ , Ashton realised Calum had probably fallen asleep and wasn’t gonna come out until tomorrow evening.

He couldn’t get Michael out of his head. The name of the club was still in his mind, and the temptation to get out of the house was getting bigger and bigger. He loved Calum, really did, but the atmosphere had been so awful lately. Calum’s sadness filled the entire apartment, took up every inch like a suffocating blanket. Ashton understood, he honestly did, but it pressed heavily on his shoulders.

In a moment of weakness (or clarity, he still can’t decide) Ashton grabbed his jacked and keys and left their apartment. He drove up to the club Michael had mentioned, it being around 3 AM. The club was probably closing in about an hour, and Ashton wasn’t even sure if Michael was still there, but he needed to feel careless for a while, even if it was just a short hour and even if it was on his own.

He had made his way inside the club, which was all bright purple and blue neon, slow thick bass and drunk girls. As soon as he was facing the crowd he realised he didn’t really have any plan at all to find Michael. True, it couldn’t be _too_ hard cause the boy had green hair and all, but there were at least four hundred people in this club.

Ashton had decided that if he was going to try and find the boy he needed some alcohol first. He had made his way to the bar, where, to Ashton’s surprise, he spotted a green-haired boy leaning over it, ordering a drink.

‘Hey.’ Ashton had casually said when he appeared next to Michael, who’s face changed from confused into pleased in a second.

They had danced for what felt like hours. Pressed up against other sweaty body’s and pressed up against each other. They had laughed and drank and acted like crazy people till the sun was coming up and Ashton had driven Michael home, the windows down and lukewarm air blowing through their hair on what was gonna be the first hot day of spring. Michael had told him all about himself, his parents and his childhood and Ashton hadn’t really done anything but get attached to the boy.

Over the coming months they kept hanging out. Ashton didn’t really know why he kept it a secret from Calum, but he did. His friend got better though, and the atmosphere in the house improved with it.

All of that floats through Ashton’s mind in seconds as he stands across from Michael, speechless. The feelings of that first night they spent together in the club are making his heart soft. Michael is right: even though they had lots of fun in the last three months, Ashton has kept himself from _really_ letting Michael in and telling him about his childhood and issues.

It’s just so hard on him. His dad had raised him this way, and getting that behaviour out of his system is extremely difficult.

Real men don’t talk about feelings.

Real men don’t cry.

_Real men don’t like men._

His father was somewhat accepting. He was one of those I-don’t-care-as-long-as-I-don’t-have-to-see-it people. He never hated on Ashton about it or called him names, but now that he didn’t have a son that would bring a girl home, he desperately wanted a son who would be as manly as he could possibly be. After the incident in the locker room he had even made Ashton take boxing classes. As a result he got buff and didn’t get messed with anymore, but at the expense of him being a sensitive person. Showing feelings became a weakness.

‘I’m sorry.’ Ashton mumbles, looking back up at Michael. ‘You’re not… you’re great, okay?’

A small smile, careful appears on Michael’s face, enough to make Ashton feel something stirring in his stomach, just like when Michael dances on stage.

‘I was gonna ask you if you want to come with me to this underground café. Some unknown Indie-rock band is playing. You like Indie-rock right? Thought you said that once.’

‘I do.’ Ashton answers, now full on smiling. ‘I’ll get my stuff okay? Meet you downstairs in ten?’

‘Sure.’

Michael is about to walk out of the apartment when Ashton calls him back. The boy turns around, raising his eyebrows.

‘Thank you.’ Ashton mumbles a little unsure. Michael just smiles and nods before making his way out of the apartment.

The way the boy doesn’t make a big deal about Ashton saying ‘thank you’ makes him feel even better. Opening up and showing emotion is hard enough for him, but Michael makes Ashton want to at least try his best.


	2. 2

_-_

 

 _Your heart sings like a kettle,_  
_and your words they boil away like steam_  
_And a lie burns long while the truth bites quick,_  
_a heart is built for both it seems_

 _You are lonely as a church,_  
_despite the queuing out your door_

_I am empty as a promise, no more_

_-_

Ashton already feels a bit light-headed when he follows Michael into the bar. Michael had bought some beer which they drank when they parked the car in front of the bar in order to spend less on drinks in the bar itself. Ashton realised he was gonna have to sleep at Michael’s place tonight, which is a ten minute walk, cause with them both drinking there is no way of someone driving back to his own place.

‘This place is so cool.’ Ashton comments as he looks around.

‘I know right?’ Michael reacts. ‘Coolest place in Sydney.’

The stairs they went down took them into some kind of hipster-cave, probably the exact opposite from the first club Ashton’s been to with Michael. This one suits him way better though.

There is a long wooden bar across the room, taking up the entire wall, countless alcohol bottles on wooden selves behind it. Two heavily tattooed girls and a guy with the most impressive beard and stretches Ashton has ever seen are serving people, running around in a haste but seeming to enjoy it a lot. Wooden pillars holding up the ceiling are covered in pieces of paper with small doodles on them, and the ceiling itself is littered with what seems like snowboards, all with different prints on them. The floor is all black-and-white tiles like a sixties café. Everywhere  Ashton looks he sees posters of inspiring people, stickers and photo’s on the walls. In the corner he can see tables and chairs stacked up, probably to make more room for all the people. Industrial lamps are hanging from the ceiling, and in the far front of the bar Ashton sees three guys and a girl setting up their instruments.

‘You want a drink?’ Michael asks him, pulling him towards the bar by his lower arm.

‘Yeah, I’ll have a Jägerbomb.’ Ashton answers. Michael grins at him and nods, finding an empty spot at the bar and ordering them both a shot. Ashton can see one of the girls checking him out and grinning approvingly. It’s got Ashton giggling.

Oh honey, if you only knew.

Once they drowned their shots Michael takes him to the dancefloor where people are gathered. The frontwoman of the band takes a seat on a chair set up for her and adjusts her guitar on her lap.

‘Goodnight everyone.’ She says, her voice holding just the tiniest bit of gravel. The crows cheers.

‘Thank you all for coming out tonight, I hope you’ll like what we have for you.’ She continues, looking around and smiling. ‘We are Mary & The Fox and this is “Hang me up to dry”.’

Guitar fills the bar, and Ashton feels himself relax into the sound. Michael’s standing half behind him, their shoulders brushing as they sway along with the smooth music.

 

-

 

Ashton doesn’t know how they got drunk so fast.

He’s leaning on Michael, his arms around the boy’s waist and his head on his shoulder. He’s breathing into the crook of Michael’s neck, his scent the only thing that he can even register right now. Michael has his arms over Ashton’s shoulders, holding him close as they sway from side to side to the music booming through the bar.

Ashton isn’t that touchy-feely. Calum sometimes throws himself at him for cuddles, but Ashton never goes down without a fight.

It’s probably partly the alcohol, but with Michael there isn’t a fight at all. He went willingly, letting himself melt into Michael and his body-heat. The music is great, the atmosphere is great, and Ashton feels safe and secure in Michael’s arms.

Now that’s definitely the alcohol: Ashton willingly letting Michael take care of him like that.

‘Ashton.’ He hears Michael say in his ear. Ashton never saw his name as anything special, but as it rolls off of Michael’s tongue like that he’s happy to be who he is, happy to be alive, just generally _happy._ That feeling doesn’t even make him half as scared as it probably should.

‘Yeah?’ Ashton answers, his lips almost pressing against the vein in Michael’s neck now.

‘You remember when we went to the snack bar on the corner at the club one night after work?’

‘Uhu.’

‘You remember what you said? About not wanting to be in a relationship?’

Ashton detaches his head from Michael’s shoulder in order to look his friend in the eyes. Beautiful emeralds are looking back at him, illuminated by the soft yellow-ish light from the lamps hanging above them.

‘I don’t think so.’ Ashton mumbles, taking Michael’s face in completely. From his bright green hair that matches his eye-colour to the slight stubble on his jawline, to his almost pink lips and his eyebrow piercing. He’s just so… _pretty._

‘You said you were free.’ Michael says, his voice barely audible over the music. His eyes are serious, a hint of sadness in them.

‘Did I?’

‘Yeah. You… you said you were free… but you mean you’re _lonely._ ’ Michael exhales softly, Ashton can feel it on his lips. ‘The look in your eyes tells me everything Ash. You can be honest. I feel just like you.’

Ashton looks at him: the beautiful vibrant boy in front of him with shiny green eyes and perfect words. His heart is pounding, a feeling rushing through him with such force he can’t help but act on it.

Ashton lurches himself forward and presses his lips against Michael’s. The green-haired boy takes a few seconds to register what’s happening before grabbing Ashton’s waist tightly and kissing him back. Their lips move in sync, as if they’ve been doing this for years, and as Ashton feels Michael’s tongue carefully make its way into his mouth he can’t understand why they _haven’t_. Ashton combes his fighters through Michael’s soft hair, making the boy moan softly. When their lips part so they can breathe again, Michael’s eyes are shining even brighter, muting all the sounds surrounding them.

‘You wanna get out of here?’ Michael asks, one of his hands moving to Ashton’s lower back, the other stroking his jaw.

‘Yes.’ He answers, pushing himself close to Michael and kissing him again. After some more making-out Michael breaks the kiss in order to grab Ashton’s hand and lead him out of the bar. He pulls him through the crowd back up the stairs, and suddenly they’re outside where everything is quiet and calm.

‘Michael.’ Ashton says, not even caring about how needy he sounds. Michael turns around, places his hands on Ashton’s jaw softly and touches the boy’s forehead with his own.

‘You okay?’ He asks.

‘I’m fine.’ Ashton answers. ‘Kiss me again.’

And Michael does just that, pressing his lips against Ashton’s hungrily.

The ten-minute walk to Michael’s apartment takes at least twenty minutes because of all the make-out pit stops. When the green-haired boy _finally_ pulls Ashton into his apartment they quickly make their way into his bedroom, clothes flying around until they fall down onto Michael’s bed, both only in their boxers.

Ashton feels overwhelmed. He’s on top of Michael, the boys soft, pale legs opened for him. Their crotches are rubbing together as they make out, Ashton getting hard at a super-fast rate.

‘Ash.’ Michael chokes out as Ashton breaks the kiss in order to kiss down Michael’s jaw and suck on his neck. Michael’s hands travel down over his back to the elastic of his boxers, struggling to pull them down. Ashton inhales sharply before pushing himself up by his arms so that he’s hanging above Michael. The boys make eye-contact, and Michael immediately stops trying to undress Ashton.

‘D’you wanna?’ Michael asks, laying beneath Ashton like a damn masterpiece, his head wild on his hair and his lips kiss-swollen.

‘I… We’re drunk…’ Ashton mumbles. Michael just nods and pulls him down again, pressing their lips together before rolling them over so that he’s straddling Ashton.

‘I’m an idiot.’ Ashton chokes out as Michael starts kissing down his neck, playfully biting his earlobe. ‘I’m such a wuss.’

‘You’re _not_.’ Michael insist. His lips travel down to Ashton’s collarbones, sucking on them before speaking up again. ‘Fuck society standards. Guys are allowed to not want sex. You’re amazing, Ash. Just amazing.’

Ashton’s hands travel down to Michael’s ass, kneading the soft flesh. ‘You’re amazing too.’ He breaths out. Michael comes back up to make out again, and Ashton turns them over.

‘Wanna suck you off.’ He mumbles against Michael’s lips. Michael inhales sharply, pushing his fingers into Ashton’s curls and pulling a little.

‘You sure?’ He mumbles back. ‘Don’t do shit you don’t wanna do.’

‘I want to.’ Ashton reacts. He breaks the kiss, looks into Michael’s eyes for a second and smiles. Michael smiles back, and Ashton softly kisses his nose. Then he starts kissing Michael’s neck again.

‘You make me want to be better.’ Ashton mumbles as his lips travel down to Michael’s collarbones. Alcohol makes the words flow so easily from his lips onto Michael’s skin. ‘Please don’t even stop trying to make me a better man. It’s working.’

‘Oh Ashton…’ Michael breaths out. A delicious moan escapes from his lips as Ashton sucks on one of his nipples. Ashton travels down lower before sitting up in between Michael’s legs and pulling his boxer briefs down. His dick slaps up against his soft tummy, leaving a little patch of pre-cum.

‘God you’re pretty.’ Ashton breathes out. He pulls Michael’s boxers all the way off his legs before laying down in between them, kissing Michael’s thighs and hipbones while stroking his dick firmly.

‘Shit.’ Michael curses, one of his hands finding its way into Ashton’s curls again.

Ashton sucks a hickey into the skin of Michael’s right thigh before pushing himself up and pushing his tongue flat against the boys length, licking a strip from base to tip. Michael inhales shakingly as Ashton starts sucking on the tip before taking him into his mouth completely.

‘Fuck!’ Michael cries out, his free hand clutching the sheets beneath him. ‘Ash… ah…’

Ashton keeps bobbing his head as Michael keeps making noises, the room being filled with slurping sounds and swear words. Then Ashton pushes himself, trying to take Michael deeper. When the boy hits the back of his throat he gags and pulls off, couching a little.

‘Holy shit.’ Michael chokes out, his voice a few octaves higher than it was minutes ago. ‘Ash m’not gonna last.’

Ashton nods and crawls back up Michael’s body, pressing his lips against the boy’s and getting a hold of his dick again. He strokes him fast and firmly, his lips now just touching Michael’s without actually kissing.

‘Almost… almost there…’ Michael mumbles. His hands are roaming Ashton’s back, nails dragging into the skin of his shoulder blades. Seconds later Michael is throwing his head back and crying out Ashton’s name, his hips jerking and his thighs shaking. He cums all over Ashton’s hand and both of their bellies.

When Michael calms down Ashton shifts so that his dick is rubbing against Michael’s thigh, pushing his hips down sharply. Michael whimpers and pushes his hands into Ashton’s boxers to grabs his ass, pushing down and encouraging him. Ashton feels himself getting sweaty as he desperately moves against Michael, his release building up in the pit of his stomach.

When Michael’s lips find his neck and suck down hard, Ashton loses it. He groans and shakes as he cums into his boxers. Michael sighs contently as Ashton goes limp against him, snuggling into him and pressing his face into the crook of Michael’s neck.

‘Was that okay?’ Ashton asks softly, his hands lazily roaming Michael’s chest.

‘Yeah.’ Michael softly answers, patting Ashton’s hair. ‘That was amazing Ash.’

‘You’re so loud.’ Ashton giggles then. Michael laughs too, slapping Ashton’s butt cheek.

‘Shut up. I’m getting a roommate soon so better scream while I still can.’

They lay contently for a while, both enjoying the after-orgasm feeling before Ashton starts to get uncomfortable. They both get up and make their way through the living room to the shower. Ashton pulls off his cum-stained boxers with a grossed out look on his face, causing Michael to laugh at him. He chuckles a little before stepping into the shower with Michael, standing under the warm stream with his arms wrapped around his lover.

And if after the cuddling session Michael drops to his knees and let’s Ashton fuck his mouth until he cums down Michael’s throat then nobody has to know.

 

-

 

When Ashton wakes up the next evening he quietly steals a pair of Michael’s boxers, rumbles through his bathroom until he finds some aspirin to calm his raging hangover down and leaves his apartment without waking the boy. He needs to work tonight, but Michael doesn’t, so he should get some sleep.

He leaves Michael with a text message saying he enjoyed himself and hopes they can go out again. Then he makes his way out of the apartment building and takes the subway home. As he’s sitting in the tiny chair, staring out of the dirty subway window and gently shaking back and forth he thinks about Michael. He thinks that maybe he wanted the boy ever since he saw him dance for the first time. Maybe he _needs_ someone like Michael in his life. Maybe his carefreeness and tenderness can get Ashton to feel free again.

When he gets home he hears music coming from Calum’s room. Ashton drops his keys on the small dresser in the hallway and kicks off his shoe’s before walking into the living room.

_The sun will come out, tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, they’ll be sun._

_Just thinking about tomorrow, clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow, till theirs none._

_When I’m stuck with a day that’s grey and lonely, I just stick out my chin, and grin, and say… the sun’ll come out, tomorrow. So you gotta hang on till tomorrow._

‘What the hell.’ Ashton mumbles as he makes his way into Calum’s room. When he opens the door he spots the black-haired boy sitting on his bed, his arms around his knees, crying uncontrollably. His whole body is shaking.

‘Calum?’ Ashton mumbles, his heart breaking for the boy. He is actually sitting there, listening to “Tomorrow” from the musical Annie while crying his eyes out. Ashton has never seen a sadder scène in his life.

Calum looks up at him, eyes puffy and teary. They look at each other for a few seconds, the song playing in the background, making Ashton’s heart hurt by how hopeful it sounds, contrasting with how hopeless Calum looks.

‘The song helps.’ He says softly, a sob escaping his lips. ‘I k-know it’s weird… but I… it h-helps.’

‘Oh Calum.’ Ashton breaths out. He walks over and drops himself down on Calum’s bed, pulling the boy into his arms. Calum cries louder, pushing himself against Ashton and burying his face in the crook of Ashton’s neck.

‘It’s okay.’ Ashton whispers, softly stroking Calum’s black locks. ‘It’ll all be okay.’


	3. 3

_-_

 

_When I find out who I am  
I’m gonna know just what to do_

_When I pull myself together  
I’m gonna give myself to you_

_-_

‘You need to wake up.’ Ashton mumbles as he lies on top of Calum, pressing him into the matrass. ‘Bar’s gonna open in a few hours.’

It’s been a week since Ashton’s date with Michael, and since then he hasn’t seen the boy again. They texted a lot, but their work schedules differ so much it’s hard to plan something. Today Ashton hasn’t spoken to Michael, but he might be dancing tonight, so that’s a thing he can look forward to.

Michael has made him feel so much better over the last few days. He feels like he is getting his emotions on track because of him: slowly allowing himself to be sad and not repressing every single down-moment.

‘I’ll kill you.’ Comes Calum’s response from underneath him. Ashton smiles and rolls his eyes.

‘See you always say that. When are you gonna follow through with what you promise babe?’

‘Get off me!’

Ashton is caught off-guard when Calum rolls over and throws him off of his back. He lands next to Calum on his king-size bed.

‘That was rude.’ He mumbles, stretching his limbs out and moaning at the feeling. He looks beside him at Calum and sees his frown. He kind of feels like punching and hugging his friend at the same time. Calum has been doing great recently, apart from the Annie-incident, but Ashton really wonders when he’s gonna be completely okay again.

‘I’m gonna make you some cereal and then you gotta get up.’ He says before standing up and making his way out of Calum’s room. He walks to the kitchen and fills two bowls with milk and Lucky Charms, his favourite breakfast food.

A few minutes later Calum comes walking out of his room in a black t-shirt and boxer briefs. When he comes to sit next to him on the couch Ashton decides not to comment on how awful that shirt smells.

‘So how are we feeling today?’ He fishes, trying his best not to sound too psychiatrist-ish. He starts eating his breakfast, spooning the cereal into his mouth.

‘I’m alright.’ Calum answers.

‘Yeah?’

Ashton doesn’t believe him one bit.

‘I am.’ Calum answers, looking up and trying to assure Ashton with his eyes. ‘Really Ash. You’ve been a really great friend to me. I’m sorry for being an emotional dickhead all the time.’

Ashton smiles and feels a bit better. It’s not like he’s desperate for confirmation but it is quite nice to have his friends address the fact that he’s been working his ass off for Calum.

With love, of course.

So Ashton decides to tease him.

‘Don’t forget weeping little son of a bitch.’ He comments, pointing at Calum with his spoon, little drops of milk landing in between them on the couch. Calum grins and elbows Ashton in the ribs, making him groan.

‘No but seriously Cal.’ Ashton continues. ‘It’s okay. I know it hasn’t been easy for you. I just wish you would get out and enjoy yourself some more. You’re alive but you’re not _living_ anymore, you know?’

Another effect Michael has on Ashton is that he now actually knows what to say to help his friend.

‘I know.’ Calum mumbles. He pulls his legs in and tugs his bare feet under his bum. Then he frowns at his cereal.

‘It’s just, after work I’m tired and when I get up it’s time for work again.’

Ashton nods. He pushes another spoonful of Lucky Charms into his mouth and things of a plan. He really wanted to see Michael tonight, but if Calum needs him he can put aside his own needs for a little while longer.

‘Tonight we get off quite early. Let’s just hit the town and see where it takes us, okay?’

Calum looks at him briefly, looking like he’s weighing his options, before nodding.

‘Fine.’

 

-

 

Two hours later Calum and Ashton are behind the bar, working their butts off. It’s a busy night, but Ashton enjoying himself. He always liked this job, and he’s pretty proud about the process he’s made since he first came to work here. Sure, he’s still looking for a job that’s actually fit for him and his education, but for now he like’s where he is.

The club is all dark red velvet and soft lighting, creating a relaxed and sexy atmosphere. The bar is situated in the far left corner of the club, countless bottles of alcohol on shelves sunken into the wall behind Calum and Ashton illuminated by bright white neon lights. The rest of the club is filled with antique looking tables and chairs, coated with more velvet. The stage takes up the entire length of the front of the club, from wall to wall, with a short catwalk and a pole in the middle.

On the left and the right of the club are small rooms, shielded by red see-through robes. Ashton has been in there once, when it was his birthday and his friends Jack and Alex had paid for him to get a private dance. It was fun, but not really Ashton’s thing.

Ashton takes an order from a costumer, then unties his tie and ties it around his head to keep his curls from falling into his face.

‘You’ve seen Michael tonight?’ Ashton asks Calum, trying not to sound too hopeful as he moves behind Calum to grab a bottle of Bacardi Razz to make the cocktail the costumer ordered. Calum still has no idea what they’ve been up to, but Ashton is planning on telling him soon enough.

‘No, why?’ Calum answers. He himself is busy making Margaritas.

‘Just asking.’ Ashton says, shrugging. Calum smirks at him and Ashton rolls his eyes, flipping the boy off.

Moments later a shot boy walks up to the bar, asking for ten “blow jobs” shots. Ashton quickly places the shot glasses on the boy’s tray before filling them with coffee liquor and topping them with whipped cream. They he throws his head back and squirts some into his mouth, winking at the shot boy as he swallows it. The boy blushes, grabs his tray and hurries back to serve the costumers. Ashton spots Calum leaning against the bar a few feet away, laughing at him.

‘Slut.’ He comments.

‘Shut up, I’m just having a little fun.’ Ashton reacts before grabbing himself a beer and handing Calum one too. He’s been pushing the no-drinking-during-work boundaries ever since he came to work here.

His head shoots up when he hears the announcer voice call for “Gabriel”, Michael’s stage name.

“Gorilla” by Bruno Mars starts playing and Michael makes his way onto the stage. Ashton is mesmerized by the beautiful tiger stripes pained onto his beautiful body, and he can’t help but think back about how good it felt to be in between those legs, kiss those hips, have that boy go on his knees for him.

But then he spots Michael’s hair, and it takes everything in him to not let his mouth fall open. It’s pitch-black now, making his green eyes and red lips pop even more than they did before. It’s got Ashton short on breath.

Michael sensually moves around the pole, hooking one of his legs around it and slowly spinning. Ashton feels Calum slip behind him but he can’t really focus, all of his attention is on the stage and the beautiful boy. Ashton feels a sting of jealousy when he realises that all those guys watching him are probably thinking about doing all kinds of stuff to him. It helps a little to think that he is the only one who actually gets to.

At least, that’s what he assumes. He’s pretty sure him and Michael are exclusive now, even though they haven’t even discussed it yet. It would break him if last week didn’t mean as much to Michael as it did to him.

When Ashton watches the boy he realises that tonight is probably an opportunity he won’t get in a long time. Michael looks so damn good, and he feels so much…

‘I’m gonna fuck him.’ Slips from his lips. The song has ended and Michael slowly leaves the stage but not before making intense eye-contact with Ashton.

He damn well knew the boy was watching the entire time.

‘Well then.’ Calum reacts, looking somewhat shocked. ‘You’re hardly discrete. Is Michael aware? Cause that’s, like, important stuff.’

Ashton rolls his eyes, taking another swing from his beer in order to keep himself from saying he wasn’t even the first one of them who offered to have sex.

‘Dude, I really, _really_ want to have sex with him.’ He just says instead. He leans onto the bar, staring at some point across the room but never quite focussing. ‘Have for a while. He’s so… I don’t even know. He winds me the fuck up, and he knows it. That dumbass smirk of his.’

Ashton tries to sound more annoyed than dreamy, and when he looks at Calum he’s pretty sure he’s pulling it off.

‘I thought we were gonna go out tonight.’ Calum comments, a hint of tease in his voice. Ashton immediately feels shitty though. His thoughts go back to a week ago when he found Calum in his room, and he nods quickly.

‘Oh, shit, you’re right. Here I am placing myself before you.’

‘No, dude, don’t it’s about time you put yourself before me after two months of getting me to stop being a little bitch. Go have sex with Michael, you’ve been drooling over his ass for weeks now and he obviously wants you and I didn’t really want to go out tonight anyway.’ Calum’s response comes quickly. Ashton is a bit unsure, but Calum nods confirmedly at him.

‘Dude, I really, _really_ want you to have sex with him.’ Calum says, making Ashton laugh out loud.

‘Fine. I think we get off in an hour, I’ll go find him backstage. See if I can stake him to his place, so you can get some sleep.’

‘Would be nice, yes.’

 

-

 

It’s at least an hour later when Jack and Alex finally get their asses to the club and take over for Ashton and Calum. Ashton is grumpy has hell. He tries to hold back a little, but he’s not excited by the idea that Michael might already had left. Sure, Ashton texted him, but it’s well over the thirty minutes he promised to take to find Michael.

Calum lost his mind watching some blonde boy on stage a while ago, so he’s trailing behind Ashton through claustrophobic hallways to try and find him too.

People are asking him if they can see his employee pass but he ignores them, marching on while Calum repeatedly apologizes behind him. If these damn people don’t even know their own staff he doesn’t owe them anything.

Ashton walks to the end of another half-lit hallway where he picked up Michael the first time they spent time with each other after work, that time at the snack bar. He throws open a door that leads to a dressing room, Michael’s dressing room.

His eyes fly over various boys rushing around, getting dressed or putting on make-up before they land on Michael, sitting in the corner of the room on a couch with the blonde boy next to him, Blondies head on his shoulder. He bites his lip as he looks at the Michael’s outfit: his signature snapback with another black band shirt and skinny jeans. They got Ashton’s stomach stirring with some delicious something.

‘Seems like Gabriel likes them blond.’ Calum comments, pulling Ashton out of his thoughts. Ashton can’t help but laugh at the statement before shaking his head. If Calum only knew.

‘They’re just friends Cal. He’s all yours.’ Ashton comments. He watches how Calum blushes and smirks cockily.

‘Fuck off.’ Calum growls.

When Michael spots him he stands up, dragging his duffel back and Blondie with him. Ashton is leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed, smirking at Michael. He hopes he can tell Michael enough with just his eyes, and when the boy returns the smirk he guesses that he just has.

‘Good evening.’ Ashton comments. He supresses the urge to kiss Michael, who smiles at him sweetly.

‘I’m Calum.’ Calum awkwardly introduces himself, looking mainly at Blondie.

‘Luke.’ The boy responses, smiling tiredly.

‘Let’s go children.’ Michael says before walking out of the dressing room, followed by Ashton, Calum and Luke.

 

-

 

The drive back home takes too long.

Ashton whispered to Michael what he wanted to do when they walked to the carpark near the club, and Michael had just smirked at him and leaded them to his car.

Now Ashton’s riding shotgun, absentmindedly playing with the thick silver ring on Michael’s pinky, the boy’s hand laying warm and heavy on his thigh. Calum and Luke are quiet in the backseat, both looking like sleep has taken them over.

‘I had fun last week at the bar.’ Michael says quietly, his face lighting up every 50 meters because of the street lights, green eyes shining like reflection tape.

‘Me too.’ Ashton answers softly. This wasn’t exactly the way he wanted Calum to find out, but at least the boy isn’t angry or anything. Ashton watches him carefully through the rear-view mirror, but Calum is just staring out of the window like he’s writing a book in his mind.

‘I wish you would’ve stayed though.’ Michael comments, squeezing Ashton’s thigh. Ashton feels tension building up in his stomach, a blush creeping onto his cheeks as he things of what’s gonna go down tonight.

‘Me too, but you know, work and stuff.’

Michael smiles and nods.

‘I don’t have work tomorrow.’ He says.

‘Yeah, me neither.’

Another thigh squeeze. Ashton turns his head and smiles at Michael, who looks so pretty driving.

‘This is it, right?’ Michael asks after a few minutes of silence. He pulls up in front of Calum and Ashton’s apartment building, parking the car against the sidewalk.

‘But this is our apartment?’ Calum comments, right when Luke says ‘Michael this isn’t our apartment.’ Before Ashton can even say anything at all. He looks at Michael questioningly, because he thought they would go back to Michael’s too, but Michael carelessly throw’s his keys onto the backseat in between Calum and Luke.

‘Luke knows how to drive.’ He says before getting out of the car.

‘Dude!’ Calum says angrily, kicking Ashton’s chair. He turns around and throws Calum an apologetic look before getting out of the car as well, walking to the trunk where Michael is grabbing his bag.

He’ll be damned if Calum is gonna ruin his plans for tonight.

Seconds later Luke and Calum get out of the car and move themselves to the front seats while Michael follows Ashton to the front door of his apartment building.

‘MOST DISGUTING SEX NOISES ON THE PLANET!’ He hears Luke yell at them before opening the door. Michael throws his head back and moans extremely loud, making Ashton blush all the way down to his neck.

‘Keep it the fuck down people are sleeping.’ He hisses at Michael before pulling him inside, not before the boy flips off his friend.

Michael’s laugh booms through the community hallway and Ashton can’t help but smile a little bit at the sound.

 

-

 

Talk about foreplay.

They make their way up the stairs holding hands, slowly moving towards Ashton’s apartment. The tension lays heavy onto their shoulders as Ashton opens the door and leads Michael inside. He’s nervous now: he knows this is what he wants but now that the moment is there it’s suddenly so _real_. He knows Michael is feeling it too: the boy keeps on touching Ashton and staying close to him as if he’s scared Ashton will change his mind and run.

They kick off their shoes and hang up their jackets before walking into the living room.

‘Are you hungry?’ Ashton asks, moving to the kitchen, pulling open the fridge and inspecting the contents, Michael following him like a puppy.

‘I could eat.’ Michael answers, smiling sweetly.

They microwave instant mac-and-cheese while leaning against the counter, Michael with his hands on both sides of the Ashton’s hips as they make out passionately. After eating together and playing footsie under the table they make their way into the bathroom.

They undress each other, taking up every inch of each other’s bodies before stepping into the shower. Michael rubs every part of Ashton with shower foam before turning around and letting Ashton do the same to him.

When they’re done Michael leads Ashton to his bedroom, holding his hand and squeezing it softly to calm down Ashton’s nerves he can so easily detect.

They fall onto Ashton’s bed. Michael’s on top, in between Ashton’s legs, and it’s not like he could contain his boner in the shower but now he’s really getting hard. Michael is right there with him: his erection sliding against Michael’s as they move against each other, movements getting more desperate by the minute.

Michael moans against Ashton’s lips as they make out, their tongues sliding together smoothly. Their bodies are warm and soft from the shower, moving together in the most intimate way. A moan escapes Ashton’s lips as Michael rubs a finger against his nipple, the bud hardening in response.

‘You’ve got lube?’ Michael mumbles, his lips sliding away from Ashton’s lips to his jawline, leaving soft kisses.

‘In the nightstand.’ Ashton breaths out, his hands roaming Michael’s back. Michael leans further over him and pulls open the drawer of Ashton’s nightstand, pulling out a half-empty bottle of lube and a condom.

He sits up in between Ashton’s legs, opening the bottle and coating two of his fingers.

Wait. What?

‘Michael?’ Ashton pushes himself up too, looking at Michael confused. Michael looks up from the task at hand, looking just as confused and a little bit concerned.

‘Yes babe?’

Ashton doesn’t miss how the pet-name makes his heart flutter, but he’s more concerned about Michael’s plans right now.

‘I’m not… I thought…’ He stumbles. Michael isn’t making a move to help him out, just sitting there with the lube in his hand and a confused look on his face.

‘I didn’t really think it was gonna be… like t _his_.’ Ashton mumbles slowly.

‘What are you talking about?’ Michael is still not catching on, and Ashton feels himself blush. He’s not good with this, with talking about shit and saying what he wants. He thought Michael would have the same idea’s about this as he does.

‘I thought I was gonna do you.’ Ashton answers, now looking away. He’s still sitting with his legs open for Michael, and it feels good, but he’s always topped. He’s just not the submissive kind.

‘Oh.’ Michael answers. ‘Do you not want to?’

‘I mean, I’m just not… you know, submissive.’ Ashton voices his thoughts.

Ashton looks back up at Michael, expecting him to nod and turn around for Ashton, but instead the boy is frowning at him.

‘What does that have to do with anything?’ Michael asks, his voice sounding somewhat annoyed now.

‘What do you mean? That has to do with everything. I’m not…’

‘It’s not about being s _ubmissive._ ’ Michael interrupts him, his frown deepening. ‘Jesus Ash I’m not gonna tie you up or fucking make you call me daddy. It’s about me making love to you because I care about you.’

‘But I’m not the girl.’ Ashton mumbles under his breath, looking away. There’s a long moment of silence before Michael pushes Ashton’s legs away from him and stands up from the bed.

‘I can’t believe you just fucking said that.’ Michael growls, throwing the bottle of lube on the ground.

‘Michael…’ Ashton tries, looking back at the black-haired boy pacing around in his room.

‘No seriously Ashton, “you’re not the _girl_?”.’ Michael says, stopping his pacing to look back at Ashton and raising his voice. ‘In case you didn’t fucking know, this is a gay relationship. There not being a girl is the _whole damn point._ So no, you’re not the girl, and neither am I. It’s not about “being the girl” just like it’s not about “being submissive”. I want to make love to you, show you that I am _in love_ with you.’

Ashton moved to the edge of the bed, sitting with his hands in his lap and staring at Michael, feeling like he’s about to cry. He can’t believe the mood switched so quickly, and it’s all his fault. Michael is right: of course neither one of them is the girl. It was such a stupid ass thing to say.

‘I know you have trouble with letting people into your inner circle.’ Michael speaks up again, his voice way softer this time. ‘I _know_ how hard it is for you to give yourself to someone. But I am asking you to trust me.’

There is a long moment of silence. Ashton can’t look at Michael, too scared of the look in the boy’s eyes. He digs down deep, trying to find the reason he’s so scared to do this. He tries to shut down is natural filter and just saying exactly what’s on his mind.

‘I think… I think it’s about me trying to be manly again.’ He says slowly, still looking down at the carpet beneath his feet.

‘There’s nothing unmanly about what we were about to do.’ Michael answers softly. ‘You’re not degrading your masculinity by bottoming. You’re allowing yourself to be loved.’

Ashton takes a deep, shaking breath.

‘What if you leave me?’ He says. ‘What if we do this and then you leave?’

Michael’s feet appear in his view, his toes almost touching Ashton’s. He feels Michael’s fingers under his chin, pushing his head up so that he’s looking at the boy.

‘I won’t.’ Michael answers. ‘I promise.’

‘What if it hurts?’ Ashton whispers, his hands finding Michael’s hips and slowly stroking the skin.

‘I can’t promise you that it won’t, but I can promise it’ll be worth it.’ Michael answers. Ashton takes another deep breath and nods then, crawling back up the bed.

‘Okay.’ He says.

‘Yeah?’ Michael asks, also climbing onto the bed. Ashton nods, and Michael leans in to kiss him again. The discussion didn’t exactly do much for his hard-on, but with Michael back on top of him that problem is fixed within minutes. They make out, slow and passionate, before Michael gets up to retrieve the lube and coat his fingers again. He finds his way back in between Ashton’s legs, sitting on his knees and slowly stroking up and down his thighs.

‘You gotta relax, okay?’ Michael says. Ashton nods, nerves roaring through him like a hurricane. Michael bends down a little so that he’s hanging above Ashton, Ashton’s legs spread for him. Michael’s finger travels down in between Ashton’s ass cheeks, making the boy tense up as it rubs over his hole.

‘Shh… it’s okay…’ Michael whispers, burying his head in the crook of Ashton’s neck and leaving soft kisses. They calm Ashton down: make the boy relax a little bit more. It’s nice to have Michael this close, he remembers himself. It’s just Michael. Michael’s wonderful.

Ashton inhales sharply as Michael’s finger pushes into his hole slowly. It’s such a weird, uncomfortable feeling, but it doesn’t hurt.

Not until he’s almost fully in.

‘Shit.’ Ashton curses, his nails digging into the skin of Michael’s back. If just one of Michael’s fingers feels like this, how the hell is he going to fit his dick up there?

‘You okay?’ Michael breaths out, lifting his head to look Ashton in the eyes.

‘Yeah.’ Ashton whispers. ‘Just… just hurts a bit. Keep going.’

‘Tell me when you need me to stop.’ Michael whispers back. Ashton nods at him, and Michael’s finger slowly starts moving in and out of him. They share soft kisses and heavy breaths as Michael keeps going, carefully speeding up.

‘You ready for another one?’ He asks after a while, kissing Ashton’s cheek. Ashton nods: the feeling is still weird but it’s not really hurting anymore. Maybe he’ll adjust enough and it won’t be that much of a struggle after all.

Michael pulls his finger out and comes back with two, nudging the digits inside of Ashton. A noise leaves Ashton’s lips that has him blushing like an idiot, looking away from Michael.

‘Babe.’ Michael mumbles, his lips sliding against Ashton’s cheek and jawline, his fingers slowly pumping in and out. ‘Don’t be embarrassed. The noises you make are so sexy.’

‘I sound weird.’ Ashton whispers, still trying his hardest to relax for Michael’s fingers.

‘You sound fucking hot.’ Michael whispers back, his lips now finding Ashton’s. Ashton combs his hands through Michael’s freshly dyed hair, enjoying how soft it feels.

‘Black looks so good on you.’ He comments when Michael breaks the kiss.

‘Thanks.’ He answers, grinning. ‘You can take one more?’

‘Yeah.’ Ashton breathes out. Michael pulls out his two fingers and comes back with three, trying to push them into Ashton, who tenses up.

‘Fuck.’ He curses. ‘Mikey…’

‘I know baby.’ Michael whispers. ‘Try and relax okay?’

Michael sits up, so that Ashton’s legs are hanging over his thighs.

‘Try to pull your legs up a little for me love.’ Michael says. Ashton nods and follows, hooking his hands under the back of his knees and pulling his legs back. He blushes, feeling really exposed like this, but Michael just looks at him with a look of complete love and lust that calms Ashton down.

‘Gonna try again now.’ The boy says softly. He warps one of his hands around Ashton’s dick, stroking him firmly while the other pushes against his hole again. Ashton moans, throwing his head back as he finally gets some blessed friction.

Michael’s fingers slide in easier now that Ashton gets distracted. He’s just about to wonder why people actually do this, cause up until now it only hurt, when Michael curls his fingers and touches something inside of Ashton that has his back arching, pleasure shooting through him causing an incontrollable sound to fall from his lips.

‘Holy shit.’ He chokes out, moaning again. ‘What the hell was that? Do it again.’

‘Your prostate baby.’ Michael answers, grinning proudly and curling his fingers again, making Ashton cry out.

Of course, Ashton knew about the prostate, but he never even thought about finding his own. He wasn’t about that life… but now that he’s feeling what it can do for him, he definitely sees himself being about that life in the future.

‘I think I’m ready.’ He breathes out after letting Michael touch it again a few times. ‘That, and I won’t last.’

He’s extremely worked up with Michael touching his prostate and still stroking him.

‘Alright babe.’ Michael answers, pulling his fingers out slowly, making Ashton shiver. He’s about to grab the condom when Ashton grabs his wrist.

‘Can we… are you clean?’

‘Yeah.’ Michael responses, stroking Ashton’s thigh. ‘Are you?’

‘Yeah. Do you wanna go without?’

Michael quickly nods, making Ashton giggle a little. ‘Only if you want to as well.’

‘I do.’ Ashton admits. ‘Wanna feel everything.’

Michael blushes a little before bending down and kissing Ashton passionately again.

‘M’gonna go from behind, yes?’ Michael mumbles against Ashton’s lips. Ashton nods, stroking Michael’s lower back and ass.

‘You take the lead babe.’ He whispers to Michael. ‘I’ve never… yeah.’

Michael just nods. He slowly moves over, pushing Ashton on his side and crawling behind him in a spooning position.

‘This is the easiest way.’ He whispers to Ashton, kissing his neck and shoulder while stroking the boys thigh. Ashton can feel Michael’s hard-on against his bum, sliding in between his ass cheeks over his hole and making him shiver.

‘O-okay.’ He stumbles. ‘Feels nice.’

‘Yeah?’

Michael moves his hand to Ashton’s dick again, stroking him. Ashton moans, pushing himself back onto Michael, who’s letting out soft sounds of his own.

The position feels extremely intimate, he can feel Michael’s heartbeat against his back and the boy’s breath on his neck. They’re pressed together like they’re one and the same person.

‘Gonna go in.’ Michael whispers, pulling his hips back a little. Ashton tries to relax as good as he can manage when he feels the tip of Michael’s dick push against his hole. He presses forward harder, the tip breaking past Ashton’s rim.

Ashton let’s out a pained sound, his fist clutching the sheets. It hurts more than he thought it would, more than Michael’s fingers.

‘You okay?’ Michael asks. He keeps on leaving kisses on Ashton’s shoulder and stroking him with a tight fist as he sinks down further. When he’s all the way inside his hips still against Ashton’s ass.

Ashton let’s out a sob, tears falling from his cheeks onto the pillow.

‘Shh baby, relax. It’s all in now.’ Michael says.

‘It hurts.’ Ashton whispers back, one of his hands finding Michael’s thigh and squeezing hard. It feels weird and uncomfortable and painful and at the same time extremely amazing to have Michael inside of him. He feels in pain and full and wonderful.

‘I know baby I’m sorry.’ Michael breaths out. ‘I’ll try and make it feel good.’

He pulls out slowly before pushing back in, Ashton releasing a shaky breath. Michael’s hand finds his and he laces their fingers together, Ashton immediately holding on to him for dear life. The boy turns his head back and their lips connect, exchanging soft kisses while Michael keeps moving. After a while the pain is almost completely gone, and Ashton starts rocking back against Michael.

‘Feel better?’ Michael asks, his hand traveling down to Ashton’s balls to play with them a little.

‘Yeah.’ Ashton breaths out. ‘Feels great.’

Michael smiles, leaving more kisses on Ashton’s neck. His hips start to move faster, pulling out further. After a while they’re moving faster and faster against each other, sweat forming on their bodies. Ashton is moaning, clutching the sheets and Michael’s thigh. Then Michael sifts a little and sends his next thrust right into Ashton’s prostate.

‘Ah! Shit! M-Mikey…’ Ashton moans. ‘Right there.’

Michael nods and starts moving faster, hitting Ashton’s prostate with every thrust. Ashton tries to remain himself but he simply can’t: he’s moaning and whimpering and making all these pleasure-filled noises that have him blushing. Michael isn’t any better: throaty moans leave his lips as he lifts his own thigh higher over Ashton’s, hitting harder.

‘M’gonna cum.’ Ashton chokes out, nails digging into the skin of Michael’s thigh.

‘Yeah?’ Michael breaths into the skin of his neck. ‘Cum for me baby. Let me see how pretty you look.’

Ashton whines into the sheets, angling his body and pushing back harder. It takes a few more thrusts into his prostate before he’s shaking, cuming over the sheets while he’s moaning out profanities. Michael starts hitting really fast, holding Ashton in place by his hips while slamming. Seconds later, when Ashton almost want’s to tell Michael to stop because he’s getting too sensitive, Michael cums too. The sounds he makes have Ashton blushing like crazy.

They lay like that for a while, trembling against each other, before Michael carefully pulls out, making Ashton whimper.

‘Baby.’ Michael whispers, leaving kisses against Ashton’s shoulder and neck. ‘Babe. Beautiful. Love. Are you alight?’

‘I’m great.’ Ashton answers, smiling shyly. Michael wraps both his arms around the boy and pulls him close, sighing contently.

‘Are you… are you really in love with me?’ Ashton asks after a short silence.

‘Definitely.’ Michael answers, laughing softly. ‘Do you like me too?’

‘ _Like_ is a bit of an understatement.’ Ashton answers, giggling. ‘I think I wanna be your boyfriend.’

‘I think I wanna be yours.’ Michael answers. Ashton turns around in his arms, somewhat uncomfortable with the feeling of cum leaking out of his ass and at the same time extremely comfortable because he’s in Michael’s arms. He rests his forehead against Michael’s and wraps his arms around the boy.

‘Thank you.’ He whispers. ‘For showing me this. For loving me.’

Michael smiles softly.

‘My pleasure, beautiful.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was overwhelmed with sweet reactions to the Cake side of this story so this has been Mashton! I secretly kinda feel like this one was better... idk you can decide that for yourself :)
> 
> Ps: The picture of Ashton at the beginning of this story will be the end of me!


End file.
